I have to smile when I read my last post. That was written at the beginning of a stretch of rainy weather than wore even the hardiest souls down. I feel certain that it rained for at least 10 days in a row. That's not so bad in itself, but here in the heart of Dixie we don't have real dirt. A nasty red clay covers the ground masquerading as dirt. Most of the time it's tolerable. But when it rains and rains and rains, the clay turns into a sloppy, nasty, squishy mess. Even that is not so bad, unless you have as many drivers as we do. We have more cars than driveway, and we park in our yard. I know that makes us sound like a neighbor you want to avoid, but we live out in the middle of a field with only one family to view our parking habits, and they don't mind. But back to my story. When it rains for days on end, our yard turns into a lake/swamp and parking in the yard is not a smart idea. During those times we HAVE to find a way to make all the cars and our fifteen passenger van fit into the driveway...and it works for the most part. Making it work, however, makes me grumpy. I'm glad the rain finally ended.
Eric's birthday was last Wednesday, but we celebrated it Sunday afternoon so most of the family could be here. I love having everyone over! We had lasagna, garlic bread sticks, and salad for lunch. Sara made a chocolate sponge cake which turned out very well. I love it when Jesse and his family come over. Savanna comes in and excitedly runs to whoever she sees first, calling out "nanny" or "poppie" depending on who it is. She'll jump up into our arms and kiss us....makes life worthwhile. Later we played a trick on mommie, hiding under a blanket so she wouldn't see us. Savanna just laughed and laughed as mommie looked for us and couldn't find us =) Jeremiah has grown so much since Christmas, and he has a smile that lights up the room. It won't be much longer before he joins Savanna and Khy in their play. It's good to be a grandma.
We are getting into serious wedding planning. Saturday, Rebekah and I went shopping for wedding supplies. We were able to buy the guest book, invitations and flowers for the bridesmaid bouquets for 50% off. Her colors are royal blue and yellow, and she was able to find artificial roses in a lighter blue and yellow color. She made the bouquets last night, and I must say they look very nice. There is still so much to do...but it will all come together. I'm getting excited. But I will miss Rebekah and Khy very much. Maybe Joe could just move in with us after they are married =)
I'm not making a dent in my bucket list. It's so easy to sit and rattle off a list of grand ideas, but the day to day effort needed to make it happen is a little harder. I started working on my 4 x 8 garden boxes before the rain began, and I haven't touched them since. I've thought about bringing them into the house to finish painting. It's time to start plants indoors, and I haven't started that either. All in good time, I guess. It will be no great tragedy if I don't get it done, and not getting a wedding pulled together will be. I don't think I even put the wedding on my bucket list. Silly me.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
A Rainy Day's Reflections
Rainy days set their own moods, and today was a deliciously rainy one. It was just gray and gloomy enough to enhance a melancholy mood. I don't mean a sad and gloomy one, but rather one serious and reflective. I make much of wishing that I had a bubbly personality, but, to tell the truth, I like my temperment. I like to think deeply and to feel empathy and to try to discern the meaning of things. Add a few sad songs to the mix, and I am in a heaven of soulful contemplation that satisfies to the depth of my being. Unfortunately, this is not the sort of thing that makes one the life of the party. But that's ok.
Earlier I was listening to a song about a man who left his father's farm while young, and was looking back at all that happened after that decision. One part of the song says:
"Life was changing around us, I thought I had to follow too, but I'd sure make a world of changes, if I had it all again to do."
I latched onto the part "I'd sure make a world of changes, if I had it all again to do." I would make a lot of changes in life if I could. It's tempting to write a list of things I would change, but I'm not going to. You see, each time this particular song puts me into this mood, I come away with a different list. I guess that's why we don't have the option of having a do-over in life. We'd forever be living in the past and forgetting to live in the present.
When I think about my life, I realize I haven't done everything right. There are deep feelings of guilt and failure when I look back. It doesn't have to be that way. I gave all I had to being the right kind of wife, mom, daughter, and friend. I wasn't perfect, but I did try to live a life of integrity and honor. And by simply changing my focus, I can see all the good and wonderful things in life. A strong and happy marriage, wonderful children and grandchildren, faith in a loving Lord and Savior and a second chance after cancer to make a positive difference in the lives of others. These are all good things, and I will not allow feelings of guilt and failure dominate my thinking any longer. And THAT is the satisfying conclusion to a delicously rainy day's reflections.
Earlier I was listening to a song about a man who left his father's farm while young, and was looking back at all that happened after that decision. One part of the song says:
"Life was changing around us, I thought I had to follow too, but I'd sure make a world of changes, if I had it all again to do."
I latched onto the part "I'd sure make a world of changes, if I had it all again to do." I would make a lot of changes in life if I could. It's tempting to write a list of things I would change, but I'm not going to. You see, each time this particular song puts me into this mood, I come away with a different list. I guess that's why we don't have the option of having a do-over in life. We'd forever be living in the past and forgetting to live in the present.
When I think about my life, I realize I haven't done everything right. There are deep feelings of guilt and failure when I look back. It doesn't have to be that way. I gave all I had to being the right kind of wife, mom, daughter, and friend. I wasn't perfect, but I did try to live a life of integrity and honor. And by simply changing my focus, I can see all the good and wonderful things in life. A strong and happy marriage, wonderful children and grandchildren, faith in a loving Lord and Savior and a second chance after cancer to make a positive difference in the lives of others. These are all good things, and I will not allow feelings of guilt and failure dominate my thinking any longer. And THAT is the satisfying conclusion to a delicously rainy day's reflections.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
School's back in session in the Shaffer household. It's hard to get into a routine, and more so when you aren't quite ready for it. I seldom feel ready for anything, and I think it's because I want to do everything, and thus do nothing. I've made many resolutions to solve this character flaw, but they never worked, and I'm getting old. I think this will be the story of my life.
I promised a bucket list, and I have worked on compiling one. Here is the short list of things I want to do this year.
Appearance
I want to wear more skirts, and, dare I say it, I want to wear the dreaded jumper. Not all the time, but sometimes. There's more to life than jeans.
I have to decide about hair length. With one exception, I've kept my hair shoulder length or longer all my life. Of course, with chemo, I lost my hair. It was hard at first, but you grow accustomed to being bald. Grooming is so much easier without hair =). Now that it's growing back I find that I like the way it looks in a shorter style. I may keep it short.
Health
Cancer - don't want to give it an opportunity to come back by living an unhealthy lifestyle.
Diabetes - my next big challenge.
Weight loss, exercise, applying all I know about healthy diet.
Keeping my mental outlook positive. I believe I made myself sick with worry and grief, and giving in to sorrow did nothing to improve any of the things that worried. me.
Christian Ministry
I find as I grow older that I regret not getting involved in ministry. To be sure, I've been faithful in church attendance, and I've kept my own soul fed. But I've not poured myself into the lives of others. I want to serve. I want to make a difference.
Homesteading
I have to smile at this. I don't really have a "homestead", but I like to do homesteady type things, just to say I did. I would never try to live a true homesteading lifestyle (too citified I guess). So, here goes:
Sewing: finish the two quilts I have started - perhaps start another one; make a sundress for my granddaughter Savanna, and shorts for my grandsons Jeremiah and Khy; make one or more aprons.
Canning: put up food from the garden; buy or make a shelf for my canned goods; make homemade sauerkraut - just to say I did it.
Gardening: build, paint and put in six 4 x 8 raised bed boxes; plant blueberries, put in trellis for grapes, start some seedling inside
Orchard: keep up with the spraying schedule; fertilize peach trees; perhaps plant two plum trees, and two apple trees. Or perhaps just learn to be content buying fruit from Scott's orchard.
Kitchen: make bread on a more regular basis; make cheese (at least once, just to say I did it).
General: dip candles - again, just to say I did it; make soap - I've done this before, and would like to perfect it.
Homeschooling
Take a good look at where we are and where we want to go. I've homeschooled most of my life. I have to say I'm ready for a break. But I don't have much longer to go. I'd like to finish well.
Writing
This is what I want most to do (along with ministry), and it is the one thing that frightens me the most. I believe I could do a good job, if only I had some inspiration.
Well, that's enough to keep anyone busy, and it just scratches the surface. Most of these things I "resolve" to do with each new year. I just keep plugging away at the same old things, hoping someday to have finished the list and perfected my skills. One thing is sure, while my friends have moved on and developed new skills and interests, I remain the same.
I promised a bucket list, and I have worked on compiling one. Here is the short list of things I want to do this year.
Appearance
I want to wear more skirts, and, dare I say it, I want to wear the dreaded jumper. Not all the time, but sometimes. There's more to life than jeans.
I have to decide about hair length. With one exception, I've kept my hair shoulder length or longer all my life. Of course, with chemo, I lost my hair. It was hard at first, but you grow accustomed to being bald. Grooming is so much easier without hair =). Now that it's growing back I find that I like the way it looks in a shorter style. I may keep it short.
Health
Cancer - don't want to give it an opportunity to come back by living an unhealthy lifestyle.
Diabetes - my next big challenge.
Weight loss, exercise, applying all I know about healthy diet.
Keeping my mental outlook positive. I believe I made myself sick with worry and grief, and giving in to sorrow did nothing to improve any of the things that worried. me.
Christian Ministry
I find as I grow older that I regret not getting involved in ministry. To be sure, I've been faithful in church attendance, and I've kept my own soul fed. But I've not poured myself into the lives of others. I want to serve. I want to make a difference.
Homesteading
I have to smile at this. I don't really have a "homestead", but I like to do homesteady type things, just to say I did. I would never try to live a true homesteading lifestyle (too citified I guess). So, here goes:
Sewing: finish the two quilts I have started - perhaps start another one; make a sundress for my granddaughter Savanna, and shorts for my grandsons Jeremiah and Khy; make one or more aprons.
Canning: put up food from the garden; buy or make a shelf for my canned goods; make homemade sauerkraut - just to say I did it.
Gardening: build, paint and put in six 4 x 8 raised bed boxes; plant blueberries, put in trellis for grapes, start some seedling inside
Orchard: keep up with the spraying schedule; fertilize peach trees; perhaps plant two plum trees, and two apple trees. Or perhaps just learn to be content buying fruit from Scott's orchard.
Kitchen: make bread on a more regular basis; make cheese (at least once, just to say I did it).
General: dip candles - again, just to say I did it; make soap - I've done this before, and would like to perfect it.
Homeschooling
Take a good look at where we are and where we want to go. I've homeschooled most of my life. I have to say I'm ready for a break. But I don't have much longer to go. I'd like to finish well.
Writing
This is what I want most to do (along with ministry), and it is the one thing that frightens me the most. I believe I could do a good job, if only I had some inspiration.
Well, that's enough to keep anyone busy, and it just scratches the surface. Most of these things I "resolve" to do with each new year. I just keep plugging away at the same old things, hoping someday to have finished the list and perfected my skills. One thing is sure, while my friends have moved on and developed new skills and interests, I remain the same.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)