I think one of the better rules to have for oneself is not to blog when you are feeling downhearted. It seems that it would be easy to say things you do not mean - sitting at the computer it's easy to forget that what you write is available for all to read. You cannot explain later "that's not what I really feel; or I felt that way then, but after I thought about it I realized that I was over-dramatizing it." A wise person knows when to remain silent.
But today I am downhearted. I know why, but I will at least be wise enough not to enumerate reasons 1 - 10 for feeling as if "all these things are against me." It is enough to say that sometimes things do not turn out the way you want them to, and some things you can do nothing about. And it makes you want to cry.
Over the past year, I have searched out the scriptures. I just needed to know "why" to so many things. Last fall, a favorite study was in the book of Job. I learned several things about God in that book, such as that there are scenes played out in heaven that I know nothing about, that God is over all and answers to no one, and that even though Job was just in God's sight, He still allowed almost unbelievable tragedy to come into Job's life (by the way, Job was rewarded in the end, but he never received an explanation from God).
I came out of that study with a favorite passage - one that I will quote:
"Look, God shows Himself exalted by His power.
Who is a teacher like Him?
Who has appointed His way for Him, and who has declared, "You have done wrong"?
Remember that you should praise His work, which people have sung about.
All mankind has seen it;
people have looked at it from a distance.
Look, God is exalted beyond our knowledge; the number of His years cannot be counted."
Job 36:22-26 HCSV
The idea of God as a teacher was new to me - I suppose I had heard it taught many times, but when I read it last fall it opened up a new line of thought for me. God is teaching us. A good teacher knows what needs to be taught and will craft the lesson to both involve and lead the student to the desired outcome. God's ultimate goal is to conform us to the image of Christ. Over the course of our life (a course that is individualized rather than universal), He presents us with lessons on how to live in accordance to His will (that Christ be formed in us), gives us examples of both successes and failures in the lives of others, and then tests our understanding by putting us through various trials. The trials test our understanding - they show what is in our heart, and if we are wise, they drive us to the feet of the Master Teacher. My desire is to do well in these tests, and to truly learn the lessons as they are presented to me the first time. But even if I fail a test, there is comfort in knowing that no matter what, there is a rhyme and reason behind the bewildering circumstances of life.
There's so much more I want to write about this topic, but I really don't want to be so serious minded in all my posts. If I knew how, I'd post photos of my garden spot with glowing reports of what I've already done in preparation for the new season; the new ideas I want to try; what my plans are for fruit production and the laments I have about the pitiful state of my orchard. But I'm home all alone at the moment without anyone to show me how to do it. So maybe by next time, I'll have some fun stuff posted. Until then, just know that I know that the down feeling I have is just that - a feeling, and it is already passing.
As a side note, I did quote the passage from a version other than the KJV. My final standard and authority is the KJV. Do not make assumptions about why I used this version today, or why I have it in the first place. Someday I might explain, but not today.
