When I started writing this blog, I had so many ideas of what I wanted it to be. Primarily, I wanted to record what I did on the "farm". I had so many dreams for what this summer would hold, and how I would finally get everything perfect. The first problem I encountered was breaking my camera. Then I got really sick, much sicker than I have been in a long time. Chores built up during the time I was sick, and I have been playing catch up every since (the truth is, I was playing catch up before I got sick). When I finally felt better, and was able to see some daylight at the end of the tunnel, the weather turned HOT! I am a southern girl by birth, and the heat seldom bothered me as a teen-ager and young adult. But I can't handle it now. So all the wonderfully impressive things I had planned to do, photograph and document on this site remain strangely a dream. Add to all this a descent into laziness, and it just isn't a pretty picture.
But hope springs eternal. My days are much less cluttered by outside activities, and I am making progress on my household chores. I still dream of canning lots of food this year, although some of it may be purchased at a local farmer's market rather than grown in my back yard. I still dream of painting my little room off the barn and having a mini-greenhouse in it. But I am starting to recognize that these are only dreams. Now don't misunderstand; dreams are important, and I believe that nothing of value is accomplished without a dream. But dreams can change. And if I keep my focus on my Lord, and love and enjoy my family and friends as I walk toward my dreams (goals), then my life will be a good one. And if I never arrive at what I had imagined, it will be alright.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Blessed is a man who endures trials, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that He (the Lord) has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12
I am not a bible scholar. I say this as a disclaimer for all those who are more learned than I am. I have had so many questions to ask of the Lord in the past year, and in my questioning and studies, I have read alot about tests, trials, afflictions, etc. In my studies, I have come to believe certain things very strongly. One is that God is a teacher. He calls Himself that on numerous occasions. I believe that He has a plan and purpose for each and every person born. I believe that our lives are planned to an extent, yet we are free to make our own choices. This is a contradiction that scholars have debated for centuries, and I certainly will not be the one to give the definitive answer. Paul said in Timothy that he had finished his course. Another part of scripture talks about our running our race without hindrances.
So, if God is our teacher and we have a course set for us (it helps me to think of this in academic terms), then it stands to reason that the tests, trials, afflictions we suffer in life are meant to show how we are doing in our "studies". If we endure these trials, and if we pass the test, we receive a crown of life. I have spent most of my Christian life supposing that this means that if we do not steal when tempted to, or murder someone, or commit adultery, that we have passed the test of temptations and will receive this crown. But I wonder more and more these days if it's not something more like how we respond to the daily affairs of life. For instance, two days ago, Sara was hurt in an accident. This accident was preventable had I been obeyed. It cost hours of time at the doctors, and much pain on her part. She had to have several stitches, and one finger has a small fracture in it. She has to wear a splint for several days (we don't know how long just yet), and there is no way she can play in her softball tournament. Is the crown of life something you win for responding correctly to things like this? If you are able to help, comfort and do what needs to be done without resentment or reproach, does that qualify you for the crown of life? Or is it being able to cheerfully work on endless piles of laundry when your mind is active and desiring to do "important and impressive things" ? Is the crown of life something that can be won by simply realizing that Jesus Himself was a servant, putting aside His own need for private time after the death of John the Baptist (his cousin) to minister to crowds of people and following His example in our daily lives?
I am not a bible scholar. I say this as a disclaimer for all those who are more learned than I am. I have had so many questions to ask of the Lord in the past year, and in my questioning and studies, I have read alot about tests, trials, afflictions, etc. In my studies, I have come to believe certain things very strongly. One is that God is a teacher. He calls Himself that on numerous occasions. I believe that He has a plan and purpose for each and every person born. I believe that our lives are planned to an extent, yet we are free to make our own choices. This is a contradiction that scholars have debated for centuries, and I certainly will not be the one to give the definitive answer. Paul said in Timothy that he had finished his course. Another part of scripture talks about our running our race without hindrances.
So, if God is our teacher and we have a course set for us (it helps me to think of this in academic terms), then it stands to reason that the tests, trials, afflictions we suffer in life are meant to show how we are doing in our "studies". If we endure these trials, and if we pass the test, we receive a crown of life. I have spent most of my Christian life supposing that this means that if we do not steal when tempted to, or murder someone, or commit adultery, that we have passed the test of temptations and will receive this crown. But I wonder more and more these days if it's not something more like how we respond to the daily affairs of life. For instance, two days ago, Sara was hurt in an accident. This accident was preventable had I been obeyed. It cost hours of time at the doctors, and much pain on her part. She had to have several stitches, and one finger has a small fracture in it. She has to wear a splint for several days (we don't know how long just yet), and there is no way she can play in her softball tournament. Is the crown of life something you win for responding correctly to things like this? If you are able to help, comfort and do what needs to be done without resentment or reproach, does that qualify you for the crown of life? Or is it being able to cheerfully work on endless piles of laundry when your mind is active and desiring to do "important and impressive things" ? Is the crown of life something that can be won by simply realizing that Jesus Himself was a servant, putting aside His own need for private time after the death of John the Baptist (his cousin) to minister to crowds of people and following His example in our daily lives?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Just Touching Base
It's been a while since I lasted posted. I was sick for most of May with walking pneumonia. It's been along time since I had been so sick. It wasn't coughing so much as aches, pains, and headaches. At times I felt so bad that I simply cried, and I do not cry easily. I was just so tired, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even think and plan and scheme, or even read because my thinking was so cloudy I decided not to post while in this state of mind. Maybe I should have - it might have been very entertaining (but there is only so much I want to have to live down).
There have been several significant things happen since I last wrote. I found out that my son and his wife will be having a little girl - our first granddaughter. My middle daughter graduated high school on May 21. And my two other daughters have had birthdays. Jesse's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Each of these deserves it's own posting, and maybe I'll get to it in the following days. But if I don't, I at least wanted to have mentioned them.
After I went to the doctor (first time in many, many years) and got antibiotics, my fatigue gradually left, and my thinking cleared up. I have found myself in a reflective mood. Of course, there is the typical musings on the passing of time and what it means. Mostly I've thought about people I've known. The relationships forged through the years, and how some people have touched my life for good, some for evil, and some just in passing. I wonder what difference meeting or not meeting a particular person has made, and what difference I might have made in the lives of others. I've learned through hard experience that things are not always what they seem. and the silence of so-called friends can be deafening when things are judged by surface appearances. But I am not the first to ponder such things, and the philosophers of the ages have tried to make sense of it all. So, the task is not to be too philosophical while still enjoying the insights a little reflective thinking can give, and to get on with the good things of life. And, I think equally important, is to give thanks for men and women who dedicate their lives to the study of medicine and the development of cures.
There have been several significant things happen since I last wrote. I found out that my son and his wife will be having a little girl - our first granddaughter. My middle daughter graduated high school on May 21. And my two other daughters have had birthdays. Jesse's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Each of these deserves it's own posting, and maybe I'll get to it in the following days. But if I don't, I at least wanted to have mentioned them.
After I went to the doctor (first time in many, many years) and got antibiotics, my fatigue gradually left, and my thinking cleared up. I have found myself in a reflective mood. Of course, there is the typical musings on the passing of time and what it means. Mostly I've thought about people I've known. The relationships forged through the years, and how some people have touched my life for good, some for evil, and some just in passing. I wonder what difference meeting or not meeting a particular person has made, and what difference I might have made in the lives of others. I've learned through hard experience that things are not always what they seem. and the silence of so-called friends can be deafening when things are judged by surface appearances. But I am not the first to ponder such things, and the philosophers of the ages have tried to make sense of it all. So, the task is not to be too philosophical while still enjoying the insights a little reflective thinking can give, and to get on with the good things of life. And, I think equally important, is to give thanks for men and women who dedicate their lives to the study of medicine and the development of cures.
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