"All growth requires change." I am not good with change. There is a comfort in things remaining the same, and I am all about the comfortable things in life. But change is necessary if there is to be growth, and I have learned that it is good to stretch one's horizons. What does this have to do with anything - I'm not sure. This blog is a change for me. I have had more than one person ask me to write a blog for well over a year, and I have resisted. There have been a variety of reasons (I didn't know how to set up a site; no one would be interested; what would I write about; I don't want to embarrass my family, but they are the only ones I know well enough to write about, etc.) But here I am with a forum all my own. I hope I do well, and that my heart will be seen by those whose good opinion matters most to me.
I am a Navy wife. My husband retired over ten years ago, so perhaps I am now a retired Navy wife - whatever that means. We married when he was half way through his career, so I only had the military lifestyle for about ten years. Most military families move alot, but not us. We met in Memphis while he was stationed at Millington Naval Base for training. We moved to Virginia Beach when he had to return to sea duty, and spent almost 9 years in that area. On his final tour of duty, he had to move to Patuxent River, MD. We considered his commuting to work (spending the week in MD, and coming home on weekends) but decided that it would be better to keep the family together. We had three children, and I was expecting our fourth at time time. So we rented our home (which we planned to come back to after he retired), applied for base housing and packed up our family and moved.
We fell in love with Maryland. The country was rolling hills, with lots of trees and was surrounded by water. The base we were stationed at was located in St. Mary's county, a rural area around 60 miles south of DC. (My love for this county will be a repeating theme in my posts, I'm sure). It had a strong influence from several things - the watermen and life on the bay, the military base with it's ever-changing population, and a thriving Mennonite/Amish community. There were farmer's markets, and antique shops. It was in this area that I became a country girl. I had grown up in Memphis, and then lived in Virginia Beach. In Maryland, we were able to by land - six and a half acres. We were in the country, but not the deep country. We were centrally located in the county, and I think had the best location, being close to libraries, parks, the hospital ( a mere five minutes from our home). It was here that we first had goats, and chickens and rabbits. I have to laugh, because we really didn't know what we were doing, but it was fun. The home we bought had belonged to a Mennonite family, and they had grown much of their own food. Why does this matter? I reaped the benefits in having a well prepared garden spot. Needless to say, we sold our home in VA, and settled down in Maryland. But I never felt like we would stay there forever. I don't know why, but in the back of my mind, I always knew there would come a time when we had to leave.
That time came almost five years ago. My husband worked for a company that was about to go under. He was having a hard time finding another job in the area. Our kids were growing up and at an age where they would start leaving home and settling down (once they did this, we would not want to leave them, no matter what). The county was changing, and the life we loved would not be as easily within reach for our children. Our parents were getting older, and we had not had much time with them while living on the east coast. For several months, I had been praying about life, wondering what to do next. Our pastor had preached a sermon that had really intrigued me some time before. It was about Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. One of things in the passage was that Solomon told Sheba all of her questions, the idea being that she didn't even know all that she wanted to ask, and he was able to answer even her unspoken questions. Of course, this applied to our relationship to the Lord, as He is able to answer the questions we can't put into words. I would get up early each morning and walk around my back yard and pray. It's funny, because after walking, I would sit in an old swing and continue praying, looking over the trees to the spot in the sky where I met with God. It sounds funny, but that was where I met with God. Almost daily, I would pray and ask God to tell me my questions - I didn't even know what to pray, what to ask for. I just knew that change was in the air. When my husband approached me about moving, I knew that this was what God had been preparing me for, and was willing to move, even though I really don't like to change. Our adventures upon arrival in Al will have to wait for another posting. Let's just say, it was an interesting time in our lives.
So why write about this? In the past couple of weeks, I started pulling together my tea pots and cups, putting them within easy reach. While I lived in Virginia, I had a close friend introduce me to the idea of having tea parties. Each week, we would meet at her home while the kids were away at a homeschool co-op. For just under an hour, we would drink hot tea, eat muffins or cookies, and discuss a wide range of issues. It was one of my favorite memories. Some time later, when this friend moved back to her home state, my heart absolutely broke. I must have cried for weeks after they left. She was simply one of the best friends I have ever had. But she left a legacy in my life - the tea party. In Maryland, I again had friends I would meet with once a month at my home. We would drink tea, eat cookies, cross stitch, and solve the world's problems over the course of several delicious hours. The girls would go to their bedrooms and talk, while the boys explored the woods. Again, some of my best memories and some of my best friends.
It's not the tea party that is important; it's the ability to be open with people, to be transparent. I don't like change - and to be transparent scares me. But I am finally ready to open up the door to my heart. There can be no joy without the risk of sadness, and there can be no sweet memories to brighten our hearts without the willingness to open ourselves up to possible heartbreak. So my tea pots sit at the ready, waiting to continue a familiar service, even though the places and faces may have changed through the years, the desire for friendship remains the same.
