It's been a long and hot summer, and I think it's taken it's toll on me. Last May I developed walking pnuemonia. A course of antibotics cured that, but I remained weak. In fact, I felt so bad that I finally gave in and went to the doctor for a complete check-up. So far, it has been confirmed that I am anemic. I had started iron suppliments in May, but being of a stubborn, independent nature, I quit taking them as soon as I felt a little better. Not a good idea. My blood count was down pretty low, and it will take a while to bring it back up to normal levels. I have to watch my sugar as well. I'm ok, but if I don't change my erratic eating habits I could have problems. Things started getting out of hand when we moved, and over the course of time our activities and outside obligations seemed to snowball. It was so easy to skip meals, to eat whatever could be fixed quickly and easily, eat at crazy hours, or to run through the drive-thru windows. I'm glad to have had a wake-up call....time to apply what I know about good nutrition. Of course, they are still running tests, so who knows what else they will find, but for now I am encouraged.

I am always amazed at how quickly the new school years come upon us. The public school will start next week. I will wait until after Labor Day to start. I'll only have two students this year, so I am on the downhill slide. I did some planning for the school year early in the summer, but I need to finalize lesson plans. I feel very hopeful that this will be one of the best years we've had since moving. My strenght is coming back, as well as my enthusiasm.

You would think, as a Navy wife, that moving would be second nature to me. But it isn't. My husband had almost half of his career behind him when we married, and we only moved twice in the years he had remaining. It always took a while for me to feel at home in any new place, and Alabama is no exception. We have lived here five years and I am finally accepting certain facts about my new home. One is that there are no JoAnn's fabric stores. We have a Hancock's, but it just isn't the same. I quit sewing. Not out of spite - just lost my heart for it. But lately I have felt the stirring of old desires coming back to life, and over the past month I have visited Hancock's several times. I picked out a few patterns, and want to start working on them soon. One is a prairie dress. I've been reading the Little House series to the kids this summer, and that inspired me. Every fall, our church has an old-fashioned day. I'd like to have a dress for myself and my youngest daughter this year. It's been so long since I've done any serious sewing. I admit that I am a little concerned about my skill level, but it should come back rather quickly.

I'm listening to Rachel play piano. For at least a decade piano lessons were a regular part of our lives. We had a wonderful teacher for the older kids, and the lesson days were always more than lessons. It was a gathering time for friends as well. As time went by, Rebekah started teaching beginning piano to the younger kids in our church. All day we'd have families in our home, and the hours were passed happily as the kids had their lessons, and the adults solved the problems of the world. Happy, happy times. And today I noticed photos that another friend posted on facebook of our kids when they were very, very young. It was a magical time - one that lives in my memories - when the kids were young. We thought we had such problems in those day......if only we'd known what wonderful golden days they truly were!

Well, that's enough rambling for today. Time to get up and work on new happy memories.

It's funny the things a person can miss. Five years ago, my family made a major, non-military related move from beautiful Southern Maryland to Northern Alabama. Alabama is pretty, but I have to say that Maryland had a charm that is hard to duplicate. One of the major things I miss in the strong Mennonite influence. The Mennonites I was familiar with in Maryland were Old Order Mennonites, which means that many of them dress and live like the Amish. I never was real clear on what made them Old Order rather than Amish, and I don't really care. Because of their presence, there was a greater emphasis on gardening and food preservation. I had a large garden, and put up alot of food, and what I didn't grow, I could buy at many of the vegetable stands run by the Mennonite community. I have not found anything like that in this area. I try to duplicate the life I had there, but it's just not the same. For example, there are no True Value hardware stores in the Huntsville. I lived within five minutes of one in Maryland, and would go there to buy canning and kitchen supplies that are not available at WalMart. Imagine how happy I was yesterday when I found a True Value (of sorts) in Fayetteville, TN. I made the trip up to the store. It was on the main square and was more like an old time hardware store and a True Value combined. But I was happy because I was able to find this food mill. I'll use it while putting up peach and apple butters this summer. While I was in the store, I found this dehydrator. I had one before, and used it to dehydrate many fruits. One of the kids favorite things was dried strawberries. It's been years since I had used one, and I've toyed with the idea of buying another one for a couple of years. As you can see, I gave in and bought this one (I'm not sure it wasn't a case of temporary insanity). The dehyrator I had used before had a large base with trays that stacked on top. This one is smaller, enclosed and has the heating unit and fan on top. It has a temperature control on top; a feature that I like. Last night I put some blueberries on to dry, and it did a nice job.

Last May I was very run down and sick with walking pneumonia. During a rare doctor's visit, I was dignosed with anemia, and have been taking iron suppliments. While I think the suppliments are helping, I am still easily fatigued. One afternoon, Eric came home with this bottle of liquid B vitamins. He had tried it at work, and it was so helpful that he wanted me to try it. I have used it for three days now, and I believe it is helping. The main thing I notice is a greater mental clarity. I have more energy as well.

Peaches are in season now, and these are from a local orchard. They are really sweet, and I love being able to buy them. I cut up a little over half of these and they are in the crock pot as I type, cooking down into a peach butter. I wish there was a way for you to smell them cooking. It makes my mouth water. Hopefully I will be able to do this a few more times while they are in season.

These are some of the blueberries I've picked from my bushes. The heat and dry conditions have kept the berries small this year, but they are sweet. I used some of this batch to dry and the rest I used to make blueberry pie filling. I want to use the dried berries in granola.

This is a picture of the chicken coop that Eric built last spring. The picture doesn't do it justice. I wish I had taken pictures of it while he was building it. It is portable, and has a mesh flooring to make clean up easy. I took this picture as a thunderstorm was blowing in. Maybe I'll get some better shots in the next few days.

Last year I planted sunflowers. These flowers are volunteers that came up along the edge of the garden. I bought seeds to plant this year, but didn't get them in (being so sick during the prime planting season). I'm glad these came up.

Life is busy these days. I've thought about what to post for a couple of days now, and this has just touched to surface of what I want to say. It's been so long since I wrote anything. I'll try to post again real soon. Until then, I wish blessings on all who read this.

When I started writing this blog, I had so many ideas of what I wanted it to be. Primarily, I wanted to record what I did on the "farm". I had so many dreams for what this summer would hold, and how I would finally get everything perfect. The first problem I encountered was breaking my camera. Then I got really sick, much sicker than I have been in a long time. Chores built up during the time I was sick, and I have been playing catch up every since (the truth is, I was playing catch up before I got sick). When I finally felt better, and was able to see some daylight at the end of the tunnel, the weather turned HOT! I am a southern girl by birth, and the heat seldom bothered me as a teen-ager and young adult. But I can't handle it now. So all the wonderfully impressive things I had planned to do, photograph and document on this site remain strangely a dream. Add to all this a descent into laziness, and it just isn't a pretty picture.

But hope springs eternal. My days are much less cluttered by outside activities, and I am making progress on my household chores. I still dream of canning lots of food this year, although some of it may be purchased at a local farmer's market rather than grown in my back yard. I still dream of painting my little room off the barn and having a mini-greenhouse in it. But I am starting to recognize that these are only dreams. Now don't misunderstand; dreams are important, and I believe that nothing of value is accomplished without a dream. But dreams can change. And if I keep my focus on my Lord, and love and enjoy my family and friends as I walk toward my dreams (goals), then my life will be a good one. And if I never arrive at what I had imagined, it will be alright.

Blessed is a man who endures trials, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that He (the Lord) has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

I am not a bible scholar. I say this as a disclaimer for all those who are more learned than I am. I have had so many questions to ask of the Lord in the past year, and in my questioning and studies, I have read alot about tests, trials, afflictions, etc. In my studies, I have come to believe certain things very strongly. One is that God is a teacher. He calls Himself that on numerous occasions. I believe that He has a plan and purpose for each and every person born. I believe that our lives are planned to an extent, yet we are free to make our own choices. This is a contradiction that scholars have debated for centuries, and I certainly will not be the one to give the definitive answer. Paul said in Timothy that he had finished his course. Another part of scripture talks about our running our race without hindrances.

So, if God is our teacher and we have a course set for us (it helps me to think of this in academic terms), then it stands to reason that the tests, trials, afflictions we suffer in life are meant to show how we are doing in our "studies". If we endure these trials, and if we pass the test, we receive a crown of life. I have spent most of my Christian life supposing that this means that if we do not steal when tempted to, or murder someone, or commit adultery, that we have passed the test of temptations and will receive this crown. But I wonder more and more these days if it's not something more like how we respond to the daily affairs of life. For instance, two days ago, Sara was hurt in an accident. This accident was preventable had I been obeyed. It cost hours of time at the doctors, and much pain on her part. She had to have several stitches, and one finger has a small fracture in it. She has to wear a splint for several days (we don't know how long just yet), and there is no way she can play in her softball tournament. Is the crown of life something you win for responding correctly to things like this? If you are able to help, comfort and do what needs to be done without resentment or reproach, does that qualify you for the crown of life? Or is it being able to cheerfully work on endless piles of laundry when your mind is active and desiring to do "important and impressive things" ? Is the crown of life something that can be won by simply realizing that Jesus Himself was a servant, putting aside His own need for private time after the death of John the Baptist (his cousin) to minister to crowds of people and following His example in our daily lives?

Just Touching Base

It's been a while since I lasted posted. I was sick for most of May with walking pneumonia. It's been along time since I had been so sick. It wasn't coughing so much as aches, pains, and headaches. At times I felt so bad that I simply cried, and I do not cry easily. I was just so tired, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even think and plan and scheme, or even read because my thinking was so cloudy I decided not to post while in this state of mind. Maybe I should have - it might have been very entertaining (but there is only so much I want to have to live down).

There have been several significant things happen since I last wrote. I found out that my son and his wife will be having a little girl - our first granddaughter. My middle daughter graduated high school on May 21. And my two other daughters have had birthdays. Jesse's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Each of these deserves it's own posting, and maybe I'll get to it in the following days. But if I don't, I at least wanted to have mentioned them.

After I went to the doctor (first time in many, many years) and got antibiotics, my fatigue gradually left, and my thinking cleared up. I have found myself in a reflective mood. Of course, there is the typical musings on the passing of time and what it means. Mostly I've thought about people I've known. The relationships forged through the years, and how some people have touched my life for good, some for evil, and some just in passing. I wonder what difference meeting or not meeting a particular person has made, and what difference I might have made in the lives of others. I've learned through hard experience that things are not always what they seem. and the silence of so-called friends can be deafening when things are judged by surface appearances. But I am not the first to ponder such things, and the philosophers of the ages have tried to make sense of it all. So, the task is not to be too philosophical while still enjoying the insights a little reflective thinking can give, and to get on with the good things of life. And, I think equally important, is to give thanks for men and women who dedicate their lives to the study of medicine and the development of cures.

Strange justice

A few weeks ago, I talked about my love for storms. It was during the time when tornadoes were tearing through Arkansas and flood waters were overtaking Tennessee. I regretted not being there, because I really do like a storm.

Over the years, I have been in the path of tornadoes, but never felt the full punch of one. While I was still a child, my mom took movies of a funnel cloud starting to rotate outside our back window. When I was a young married woman, a funnel cloud passed over our neighborhood, blowing off shingles and tree branches, but doing no real damage (it did touch down in a rural part of the county near our home, taking down a few trees, but that was all). I remember that night, because I was up feeding Jesse, and I heard the signature sound of a train coming before it passed over. Many years later, we were driving to Eric's parents home through stormy weather. The rain finally became so heavy that we pulled over and waited it out at a convenience store. Later, we found out that a tornado had passed through that area only moments after we had pulled over (this is the story that prompted Jesse to tell me "dad would pull over in weather like this" during another one of my tornado escapades). Another day was while we lived in Maryland. The forecast was for bad weather, and I was outside putting up lawn furniture, bikes, etc. when Eric got home from work. We were talking outside when he heard what he thought was a siren. I didn't hear it, so he went in to check the weather. Sure enough, it was a tornado warning, and the track put our home in the storm's direct path (yes, our street on the weather tracking thing they do). He packed us up in the car, and we left. When we came back, we saw that there had been no touch down. But our trampoline was blown into the woods, and the tops of the trees in our woods were twisted off in a path between our home and our neighbors. If it had touched down, our home would have been destroyed.

Even with all that, I still revel in storms (maybe even because of it - who knows). But this past weekend we received a phone call that made it personal. We own property in McNairy county, Tennessee. There was no home on it, just a garage and several large old oak trees. My brother called to tell us that a tornado had touched down in McNairy county, and you guessed it, it hit directly on our property. All the trees along the road were taken out. We will have to go clean this up. It will be no small task, and I dread it. It's now my family that has to do the clean up, taking time and money to do it. There is some sense of justice in that (it's wrong to take pleasure in what does damage to others and that's what I have done through the years). But even in this set back, we can rejoice that no one was hurt and no home destroyed. The sad thing is, I am the one who chases the storms and takes pleasure in them, but it will be my sensible husband who has to use the chain saw and physical labor to clean up the mess.

Garlic

How do you decide how weird is too weird? And if it is too weird, should you let people know? Especially when you are not sure who reads your blog, and who doesn't. But I think I will share this, because someone else shared it with me, and I think it has helped.

I have been sick since last Monday. It started out with exhaustion, followed by aches, chills, and head aches. I didn't feel bad all day every day, or I would have gone to the doctor. But I am usually pretty healthy, so I assumed this would pass quickly. It did not. By Saturday morning I was feeling desperate. The sickness had progressed to what I assume was a sinus infection. I didn't recognize it as such, because I had none of the typical cold-like symptoms. By Saturday, I could feel the pain spreading from the left side of my face to the right side. I didn't want to go to the doctor on a weekend after enduring an entire week, so I resorted to a home remedy. I went to the store, bought juicing carrots, apples, beets, and garlic. I juiced everything but the garlic, and drank it throughout the day. And in an act of desperation, I used my blender to blend 3 cloves of garlic with warm water. Garlic has been recognized for its anti-bacterial effects for centuries. I usually take odorless garlic tablets as soon as I feel myself getting sick, and it seems to help. If it is only a placebo, at least it is one that helps. So why blend garlic in warm water, you ask. To release the compounds that give garlic its healing properties, it must be crushed. The anti-bacterial compounds in the garlic are the same ones that give it such a distinctive and lovely aroma. I did not want to lose any of the benefits that come from from eating a whole raw clove. I also did not want to eat a clove by itself. So I mixed it up, drank down as much of it as I could as quickly as I could. It was not a task for the faint hearted. The drink was nasty - hot and bitter. But I got it down. All that was left to do was to sip my much better tasting juice and wait to see if there were any effects from it. I know there will be skeptics, but I have to say that I could tell within a couple of hours that the congestion was beginning to break up. The soreness in my neck began to leave. Today I am feeling a lot better, although not completely healed. So there you have it. I know that some will say that after a week, it was going to get better on its own. Maybe so, but it didn't feel like it was getting better. I believe the garlic was the turning point in my recovery. I would not use this on children, and would only suggest it as a possibility for adults. But as for me, I am convinced of the benefits of garlic. The downside; I am not allowed to go out into polite society until the garlic smell surrounding me subsides :-)

I really miss having my camera working. Rachel has given me her old one. It needed batteries, and Ben put some in for me today. Hopefully I can post some pictures in near future. I want to post some of the chickens, which have grown so much. Eric has the chicken coop framed, and it is looking really good. The garden is almost completely in. It's taking a while to plant, because I have so much going on and can only work on it a couple of days a week. Today I worked in it, but it was mulching the areas around the fruit bushes. I got my mulch the old-fashioned way - mowing the yard, raking the clippings and hauling them out back. I have used black plastic for mulch for a number of years, and really like it, but I read that black plastic is not good for fruit bushes, so I am putting down a layer of newspaper, then covering them with the grass clippings. It's alot of work, but I like knowing that I am improving the soil and using what I have available in large amounts.

The chickens have almost outgrown the container we've kept them in. Most days we put them out into a small fenced area that Eric made for them. I love to watch chickens as they scratch for bugs. I keep wondering which ones are roosters. I think I may have two - not bad for just guessing in the store. Of course, two roosters are more than I wanted, but at least I do have some layers. I am really proud of the coop Eric is making for me. It's an A-frame, and will be portable (this is a real advantage, so we can move them before they scratch all the grass from a single area). If I remember right, it will have a mesh floor, so their dropping will fall to the ground. Rebekah still has nightmares of cleaning out the chicken coop in Maryland (her job - Jesse got to clean out the goat house - I don't know which was worse - let's just say neither one of them will ever have farm animals for themselves). It's just really going to be nice, and I am very proud of it. I'm proud of my husband for building it for me, and taking the time to make it really nice.

If all goes according to plan, I should have the main garden completely planted and mulched by tomorrow evening. It always gives me such pleasure to do this. After it's done, I just sit an look at it. This year I am experimenting with lasagna gardening in certain sections. I have a small potato patch planted that way, and I have an area that I started last year that will become my herb garden this year. I put down cardboard boxes (or newspaper), then covered it with straw, grass and potting soil. I planted sweet potatoes in it last year, but a rabbit or some such thing ate them before they produced, and I never did anything more with it. After I finish the main garden, I will put concrete blocks around the area, put some more straw and grass clipping in, cover that with newspapers, then garden soil. This will be my permanent herb garden. Speaking of herbs, my echinnacea died again this year. I think it was eaten by aphids while we were down south. I believe it's just a curse. I have seeds, and will start some more. Maybe someday....... I really did have high hopes for this year.

Well, that's it for tonight's update. Tomorrow will be Rebekah's first Mother's Day. I know it will have a different meaning for Kathy too. There are just mother's everywhere, and that's just fine with me.

Ponderings while mowing the yard

We have a large yard. There are many advantages to this, and only a few disadvantages. The main disadvantage comes when it is time to mow it. Even then it's not a huge disadvantage, because we have several in our home who can mow. But sometimes.......

Over the past month the grass grew to great heights. Between the rain, the trip down south, ball games and work schedules, the lawn just kept being put off. This week the day of reckoning came. I mowed some on Tuesday night (missing my son's ball game in order to do it). The front yard grass was so high that I had to set the deck up to mow, knowing that it would take another pass to make it look pretty. Wednesday night was church, and last night ball practice. So today was the day to mow the whole yard to a reasonable height. It took just under three hours, and there are still some areas that need a touch up. But at least it looks like some body cares. Ben has worked at mowing, which is why the whole yard wasn't in the same sorry shape as the front. Eric, who does an admirable job on this, has been working on the chicken coop in his spare time. As a side note, the chicken coop is looking really good. I can't wait until it is done.

I love to mow, because it gives me uninterrupted time to think great thoughts. At least they seem great while I'm out there. Today I was thinking about just what a wonderful gift language is. And equally great is the gift of literacy. I've heard the saying "readers are leaders" for over twenty years, and I've always believed it, though I don't believe I always understood just why it was true. Avid readers have access to all the accumulated knowledge of all the great minds throughout the years. What a wonderful gift!!!! Knowledge does not have to be forgotten with the passing of time, but can be built on and added to by those wise enough to make use of the written word.

I think part of the pain of death is the loss of a shared history that necessarily comes with it. All that a person is, all that he knows, all that he has done is lost if not recorded while there is life. A civilization, I think, cannot excel if there is no way to write down its history, which is nothing more than the collective stories of individuals. The gift of language and literacy is a means for keeping a person alive, even though they are dead, and to preserve a nation wise enough to learn from those who left a written record of the reasons why things were done as they were.

This is just some of what occupied my thoughts while mowing. I am not satisfied with how it sounds now that it is written, but I suppose it's because thoughts always seem more profound while sitting on a riding lawn mower.

A Clarification

I love a good storm - it's true. But not storms that result in lives lost and property destroyed. I cannot fathom what folks in TN. have gone through - often floods can be anticipated and prepared for when the rivers rise in the spring. But this flood could not have been anticipated. I am grieved when I think of the lives lost. I am sorry for people who have lost everything they had. I am sorry for those whose lives will be spent cleaning up the mess for days to come. I am sorry to have made light of such a serious situation.

Stormy weather

It was supposed to storm today.

I've been watching the weather all week, and while the worst is supposed to come tomorrow, we were "promised" a rainy day today. It rained enough this morning to cancel the ball games, but other than that it's just been cloudy, windy and gray. I had worried myself for several days, trying to find time to plant my garden before the rains came. Yesterday I worked in it for several hours and I have the sunburn to prove it. I got almost all the bedding plants in, but waited to plant the seeds. Seeds could be washed away if it does rain as much as promised.

I shouldn't complain. Tornadoes hit hard in Arkansas, and much of the area I grew up in is flooded tonight. West Tennessee got over 12 inches of rain. Parts of the interstate are closed, and a good part of Millington, TN is under water. At last report, five people have drown in the flood waters. I shouldn't complain. But I do love a good storm.

I think my love of storms came from my childhood. I spent many a night huddled in the hall while the tornado sirens wailed and daddy stood on the porch watching. But other times he would take us out into the weather, driving around to see what we could see. Once, when a severe tornado devastated Jonesboro, Ark., we drove over to see the damage. Mom took movies as we drove down street after street looking at the damage. This wasn't just a random trip to see the misery of others; my grandparents lived just outside of the city.

My husband grew up in northwest Pennsylvania. Tornadoes do hit in Pennsylvania, but not with as much regularity as in the southland. His childhood was not spent with the regular ritual of huddling in the hall while the sirens blew, thus he does not share my fondness of a good storm. He will not be the one jumping in the car to see if we can find the funnel cloud - but he will watch the blow-by-blow weather reports as the local stations monitor the weather. He will be quick with the comic remarks, and is fun to ride with while trying to get away from a storm (we have several funny stories about storms and the double wide trailer - but they won't be told tonight). But the truth be told, he is the one with good sense when it comes to storms, and every family ought to have someone with good sense.

So today it was supposed to storm....
The storms will come. We are forecast to have severe storms tomorrow, and could see rainfall amounts up to 10 inches. The creeks will rise, and I will drive around to see them as they rush furiously under the bridges. I will wonder just how many times the creeks can rage like that before the supports are damaged, and my life will follow a pattern that began in childhood. And my children, who have learned from me, will stand on the porch and watch the storm as it rages on its way......

Ramblings upon returning home

We are back from Lillian, AL. We're trying to settle back into the routine that is our life, and yet there is a knowledge that things will never be the same again. We knew these days were coming when we moved to Alabama, but somehow, when we moved it seemed like we still didn't see family as much because what had been a vacation trip suddenly became day trips that could be made anytime. And we all know that what can be done anytime never gets done at all.......

We left Lillian late Sunday night. It just seemed easier to do that than to stay the night, but it made for a long night's drive. Rachel made it to the missionary brunch, and Sara got to talk to the missionary her class supported. Later in the day, Sara had a softball game. Eric is staying home today, and we'll try to catch up on the work that was left undone, and so life goes on.

I know that Eric will face a lot of different emotions in the days to come - I've not walked this path, so I will not know what he's experiencing. It's a path that everyone must walk......

I remember a remark that my dad made when one of his closest friends died - about how all that his friend had been and all he knew was just gone - it couldn't be held onto. That's part of how I feel when I think of Eric's dad - he knew so much, did so much -- and now all that he was and all that he knew is gone from us. I know that we have hope in heaven - but there is a void on earth.

Boast not yourself of tomorrow, for you know not what a day will bring. Life changes suddenly.....

Ed Shaffer

I am in lower Alabama today with Eric's family. Last Wednesday afternoon, Eric's father passed away. It was not totally unexpected, as he had pulmonary fibrosis. We knew his disease was getting worse, but had no idea how close to the end he was. Life is filled with regrets, and I regret not sending Eric down to see his father, even if the rest of us could not go.

Ed was a wonderful man. I never knew a time that when he was not engaged with a project. He built a garage, a boat (?), model airplanes, a real airplane, a teardrop camper, refurbished an older camper, etc. These are only a few of the projects I remember his working on in all the years Eric and I have been married. If he was not involved in a project, his mind was actively planning the next one.

He and Alma were married 56 years. Their marriage could serve as an example to many young couples today. They were truly a team and did most things together. They have four children - their three sons are here now, and their daughter will be in tomorrow. It's fun to see the common bond these men have, and it's more than a little unnerving to catch a glimse of Ed in one of his son's expressions, or to hear his voice when one of them speaks.

For years, we were left to wonder about Ed's spiritual condition. He didn't go to church, and wasn't interested in talking about spiritual matters. But within days of his death, he accepted Christ as his savior. Many have "deathbed" conversions, and I, being the skeptic that I am, am inclined to wonder about the sincerity of such conversions. But not with Ed. If he said he did it, he did. He would never beat around the bush in what he said, and he was a man of integity. I look forward to seeing him again. I almost have to smile when I think of his amusement over seeing us run around like chickens trying to get ready for a sudden trip. It eases the pain to smile at such thoughts.

Any time of significant change is a time for reflection. There is so much to say - and so much to be left unsaid. Just know that I consider myself fortunate to have know such a man and to have married into his family.

Debby's Devotions

Last month a friend helped me start this blog, and I have enjoyed having an outlet for writing. But it seems I want to go in too many directions, and I am afraid it will make things too cluttered. So I have started Debby's Devotions as an outlet for what I have learned in my private bible study. This will give a voice to the deepest lessons learned, and still allow for fun in my "farm and family" blog. Someday I may even add a page for book reviews. But for now I'm just having fun and hope anyone who chooses to follow will have fun along with me. The address is located on my profile page.

It seems like its been a while since I have posted anything of real interest - that's how my life is. Sometimes I have interesting things to write, other times my mind is blank. But isn't that the story of everyone's life?

My camera broke last Sunday. I don't think it will be hard to fix. The button that you push to take pictures fell off and is lost. I imagine it will just be a matter of replacing the button to repair it. I wonder how long it will take me to do that. In the meanwhile, my daughters will let me borrow their cameras so I can continue to post pictures. I told them that cabbage is finally back down in price, so I intend to start some sauerkraut this week, and post pictures of it. Like I'm not weird enough already. I'm not ready to do that just now, so the pictures will have to wait.

My echinacea is coming up. I bought eight roots, and only five have sprouted. But I consider that to be a minor victory in my gardening adventures. If I can transplant them to the main garden and have them live, they will reseed, and I'll have plenty in a few years. The plants are also called purple coneflower, and are very pretty in their own right. I hope in a year or two to be able to dig the roots of my established plants for medicinal purposes. Echinacea is good for building the immune system, and is supposed to shorten illness. I have a recipe for a tincture using the roots. I have wanted to do this for years, and in Maryland I had a couple of plants just about ready when we moved. Since then, I haven't had any success getting the plants started. I just want to be able to say that I've done this. It's what comes from reading too many books - first you get ideas, then you start thinking....... Weird, right?

It looks like I will finally be planting the garden this weekend. The weather will be nice, and we only have one ball practice on Saturday. Eric plans to work on a chicken coop - we need it. We had heard of a coop that someone wanted to get rid of, and we hoped to get it. But that fell through, so he has to build one quickly. The birds are getting big, and they are pretty. When I bought the birds, there were four "unidentified" as far as what type. They are dark birds, and their true feathers are coming in darker than the feathers of my reds. They are pretty birds, I must say. The bantams have white feathers, and I am sure one is a rooster. I don't know how that's going to work out.

I stopped by Lowe's yesterday to pick up a raspberry plant. I had planted two last year, but one died, so I wanted to replace it. While I was there, I found black raspberries. We had these in Maryland, and they are delicious. They have a richer flavor than red raspberries, but are different from blackberries. Their canes will grow long and arch over. These will root where ever they touch the ground, so I hope to have a large patch in a few years.

Worry

I have a hard time with worry. My mind runs all the time, and I guess it's because I have a naturally melancholy nature the it seems to run to all the things that could go wrong, as opposed to all that could go right. While I do believe that melancholy people are bright and gifted (at least that is what all the personality books say - and being of a melancholy nature, this assessment suits me fine, because at least it gives some virtue to being a gloomy gus all the time), it can make relationships with those of a different nature strained. But I believe I have found a key to overcome worry. The answer is prayer combined with a right focus. I woke up a few days ago with such a strong impression of prayer that I immediately wrote down what was on my mind. It was:
-have a purpose, an aim in prayer
-be specific
-know what you want to happen
-be bold
-have faith.
This is written just as I recorded it in my journal. Later, while having my devotions, I finished Proverbs then applied the very "specific" method of study known as "just open the bible anywhere and start reading". I opened it to the book of Philippians. I have spent a good deal of time in Philippians lately, which might be why my bible fell open there. I have primarily been studying the first chapter, but that day I read through the entire book. God reminded me that the victory to worrisome thoughts is prayer. Instead of fretting, I should rejoice because the Lord is near. I am to show moderation (don't go to any extreme). Mostly, I am to pray about everything. Everything! And after I pray, instead of worrying about what might happen, what others could do, or think, I am to focus my thoughts on whatever is true, just, honest, pure, lovely, virtuous, praiseworthy. If I do this, I will have the peace of God on my life.

I know these things. I have been taught this as a Christian for years. Just this week, God has made it personal for me again. So the question is: will I apply what I know? Is this one of the commands that Jesus told us to keep in order to receive answered prayer? I think it is. And it's interesting, because after waking to my "prayer revelation", and studying this passage in Philippians, I found my ancient copy of John R. Rice's book on prayer (I spend several frustrating days looking for it after our last revival - and then yesterday I just glanced at one of the shelves in the schoolroom, and there it was.) When I applied the same study method to this book as I did to my bible study, the book fell open to a portion where Dr. Rice writes of being very specific in prayer. Curious, hmmmmm.

So, looking forward to answered prayers, I leave you this day with the hope that your day will be blessed.

An update on yesterday's post. The accident only involved three cars, and five people were taken to the hospital. I do not know what happened to the woman who crossed the line into oncoming traffic. I heard she had a medical condition which caused her to black out. The mother of Sara's friend had her knee broken. Three others were taken to the hospital and released unharmed. These three were on their way to the same ball field as I. In fact, one of the boys in the wreck is on my son's baseball team. No one told me that playing ball in Hazel Green could be dangerous ;-)
Seriously though, I am grateful that no one was killed in this accident.

Providence or Happenstance?

We are in the middle of ball season, which means that most days I am on the way to the ball field in the late afternoon. Yesterday was no exception. Both kids had practices scheduled for the same time, but different places. We had left the house a few minutes later than I wanted, but with plenty of time to get them to their separate destinations at the proper time. On the way, I "happened" to ask one of the kids if he had brought his water bottle, because it was field practice, and I knew he would want it. No, he had left it at home. Arguhhhhh! Another lecture was pulled from the series "Debby's lectures for the betterment of young lives". This one focused on the need to prepare ahead of time and to be responsible young people. Another day I might have let him suffer, but yesterday I pulled into the local quick mart to buy bottled water. I have no more pulled in and given him money before I heard a loud crash. A major accident has just occurred on 231. I could see that several cars were involved, but couldn't tell exactly what had happened. We left the store, taking the back roads to get to the park. Later I heard that one car had been hit head on and six cars were involved. The accident took over two hours to clear.

So what determines the events of a day? If I had not asked about the water bottle, if I had not pulled into the store, I would have rounded the corner and been in the exact vicinity of the wreck at the moment it happened. Would the wreck have happened with a different person there? Would I have gotten through before it happened, or been involved in it? What determines these things? As it happens, the car most damaged belonged to the mother of a little girl on Sara's softball team. She was alone in the car, and I heard that she was taken to the hospital. I don't know how she's doing now. Hopefully I'll hear something at practice tonight.

I am a woman of faith - I believe in the providence of God. I do not know why I was chosen to avoid the wreck, while the mother of Sara's team mate was not. All I can say is that I am grateful to God for sparing us last night.

What a beautiful day!! The weather could not be any better as far as I am concerned. I wish I were able to work on my garden today, but it's not possible. I had meant to cover it last week with plastic before the rains came, but it didn't happen. Eric wants to till it once more, and add some organic material. Then it will be ready.I don't know when he will get to that, because we have a weekend of ball games. Tonight it practice, and tomorrow the season opens.
I've been doing the preliminary work for the garden. I have purchased my sets, my seeds, fertilizer, and plastic. I am putting in strawberries, two different kinds. One is a June bearing variety, the other is an ever-bearing variety. There are garlic sets, enough for two small beds, and 8 echinacea roots. I'm especially excited about the echinacea, because I have tried for two or three years to start this from seed without success. I don't know if all the roots are alive, but if I can get any plants from these, it will be a victory for me. Yesterday I was able to buy the blueberry bushes I wanted, and if all goes according to plan, I will pick up another raspberry plant today (I planted two last year, but one died)
A few days ago I wrote about making bread. I'm excited because my shipment of wheat will be in tonight. I think I'm going to go ahead with my plans to buy a Bosch kitchen machine. I've wanted one since I lived in Virginia, and believe it or not, I've saved enough in nickels, dimes and quarters to buy one ( I didn't set out saving for this. I just saved my change on a regular basis, and here I am with enough to purchase one. )

The chickens are doing well, getting big fast. Before we know it, they will need to be outside in a coop. I bought twelve birds; six are reds, two are bantams, and four are an unknown to me variety. I bought them because they were in the tub marked pullets, and pullets are supposed to be hens. The "unknowns" are dark birds, and their feathers are coming in dark. I think they will be pretty. I went to the garage to check on them last night and woke them up. My goodness, what a whirl of activity that started. Of course, they started eating, then they perched on top of the feeder. This set up a "king of the hill" scenario. It was fun to watch them spar with each other for position. I told Eric I feel sure that we have more than one rooster in that batch. Maybe it would have been better to order them straight from the hatchery.....

So why do all this? I don't know if I can explain it. I think that certain callings are born into families. My grandparents on both sides were connected to the land. My father's dad was a lumberjack, and helped clear the land in northeast Arkansas. The land he helped clear was some of the most fertile land in that part of the country. My mother's dad was a farmer. My parents are not farmers, having moved to the city shortly after marrying. But my mom's green thumb puts mine to shame. There isn't a flower in existence that she cannot grow. So I think I was destined to love the land. You would not have thought it while I still lived at home! I wouldn't even help weed her flower gardens - I might get dirt under my fingernails!!!

I have had this dream of a mini-farm since my days in Virginia Beach. We had a home in a quiet subdivision and a small yard. Each spring I would go out and dig up by hand my garden plots (I had three parts of the yard set aside for gardens.) Eric planted a dwarf peach tree, and I had blueberry bushes, a grape vine and a small strawberry bed. Each spring we would go pick strawberries in the rural part of the county. On a couple of occasions, I would pick green peas, or green beans in the same area. Later on in the season we would go to the blueberry farms and pick berries. The people who owned the farm taught the kids to pick the berries by "tickling them off the bushes". If you had to pull a berry, it wasn't ripe. Summer's were spent putting away food by canning or freezing it. I even tried my hand at dehydrating food. I carried this dream to Maryland, and really loved the rural heritage of St. Mary's county. There we had our first experience with animals (ask the kids about the black snake that would follow them up and down the hill when they went to feed and water the goats - it makes a funny story now, but I'm not sure they saw the humor in it at the time).

When we made the move to Alabama, Eric went before us. He immediately began house hunting, and on the first week-end found the home we currently have. We have just under ten acres, with much of it fenced in. There is a large barn, and a small orchard. It was really almost exactly what we had dreamed about for years. There were several obstacles to buying it, so it took about nine months before we moved into our dream home. We have been slow about building the "mini-farm", but finally it seems as if we can start working on it. I don't know what the end result will be. We may not have the heart or energy needed to make it work, but then again, we might.

It's fun to finally be able to post pictures. Rebekah helped me tonight, and hopefully I'll be able to do it on my own next time. If not, there are enough tech geeks in my family to help me. I remember when computers first came into my life. I was a page at the Frayser Public library in Memphis, TN. For those of you who don't know, a page is the lowest one on the totem pole. It was my job to check books in and out, put them back on the shelves, and purge the card catalog. Does anyone even remember card catalogs? In my senior year of high school, the city had computers put into every library. We used them at first to check books in and out. Once I learned how to do it, it made the process so much quicker, and I'm sure it kept better records. The next real memory I have of computers comes after my marriage. Jesse was a baby, and my husband came home one day with his very own Commodore 64. He loved that computer. I don't think I was sufficiently impressed with it, and for many years I resisted learning much about them. Why? I don't know. So here I am, thirty years later, and just learning how to transfer pictures from my camera to the computer, then upload them onto this blog.

Baking Bread

Bread making is an art that I have toyed with for many years. I am not an accomplished bread maker, mostly because I do it in fits and starts. Years ago I was introduced to grinding wheat at home. I bought this grinder while we still lived in Virginia. It works very well, but sounds a lot like a jet engine when running. I think they have quieter ones now, but this will have to do until it wears out. The wheat I am using is golden white from Montana. I have used this exclusively for my whole wheat breads since I began grinding my own flour. I order it from a local family who arranges a yearly shipment. This is some grain left over from last year's shipment. I am waiting for another shipment. This year I am being adventuresome, having ordered a bucket of prairie gold and regular red wheat as well as my regular white wheat.This is what the flour looks like after it has gone through the grinder.For years I have wanted to buy a Bosch kitchen machine for my breadmaking. I never have, mostly because it is costly. This is the bread dough after being mixed in my Kitchen Aid. Not bad.
This is what the dough looked like shortly before baking. It came out very good, but was cut into before I was able to take a picture of the finished product. I don't think there is anything better than hot, fresh bread and butter. The best part of this is that with the white wheat we get the benefits of whole wheat without the robust flavor of red wheat.

Green Mountain Pictures

Guess what I'm learning how to do - post pictures. It will take a little while for me to master this (I know, I know, I'm a dinosaur when it comes to "technology" as Ben calls it.) These pictures were taken last week on our trip to Green Mountain.
Ben and Sara enjoyed being able to sit by the water. There is a little pier on the lake and they dangled their feet in the water. Sara was amused by the fish in the lake and wanted to catch some.
Here's my crew: Ben, Rebekah and Khy (in the baby sling), Sara, Kathy, and Rachel. I'm the one taking the picture.
We loved the covered bridge. We just sat on the benches inside and stared at the water for the longest time. This was one of the most fun outings I've had in a little while.

Just Another Day

Today is a normal day, not especially bad, not especially good. It's a Monday, so we began our week with our homeschool co-op. I have homeschooled for many years, and have belonged to a number of c0-ops. This one is a pretty decent one, as co-ops go, but I am getting tired of it. I guess we have so many things going on, and this is just one more thing to do. We'll finish the year (only 5 weeks to go), and I'm not sure what to do about next year.
At the co-op we gave away our guinea pig (O HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!) It was only last spring and in a different co-op that we acquired this "pet". I'd never had one before, and it looked so cute. In fact, to begin with there were two, but one succumbed to who knows what relatively soon after we brought them home. They reminded me a dwarf bunnies that we had to give away when we moved away from Md. and I had always intended to get more for Rachel. I did not know that guinea pigs squeak. Alot. And their primary purpose is to eat and poop (I think this is the purpose of most animals). It didn't take long for the romance my younger kids had with the pig to sour, and I was left with a stinky cage and a pet no one wanted. But we don't dump our animals easily. I would complain about it, but I never would put up a flyer at the local grocery store - Guinea Pig - Free to a Good Home. So how did we find our pig's new home? Ben was in one of his classes and they were talking about pets when one of his class mates expressed her desire for one. He gave her our phone number, and within two days I had talked to the mom and arranged to bring it to them today. Eric was elated at the news, and frankly he told me that he didn't care what might come up today, someone had better have that pig at the co-op ready for pick-up. The only hitch is that Sara was really upset with us. She is another "Ellie May" when it comes to animals, and has a tender heart for them. I felt absolutely like a monster this morning while she cried. I might have given in and kept it, but Eric was strong for me, and I was able to give it away. Sara finally accepted that this was the best thing to do, but she won't "get over it" - anytime she has another disappointment with pets, this will be recalled and talked about. Before you are tempted to disagree with me, you just don't know her history with animals. But at least I have one less animal to worry about.

What is it about homeschoolers and animals anyway? We have two inside cats, one bird, one kinda indoor dog, two permanent outdoor cats with one that used to belong to us who drops by on occasion. We also have three outside dogs (at least two are up for adoption). As if that isn't enough, last Saturday I bought 12 chicks. Yes, twelve. Why twelve, when I only wanted six? Well, there is no way easy way to tell whether you have hens or roosters at such a young age, so I bought extra in case I picked up more than one rooster, and some may die before they reach egg laying age. It wouldn't surprise me to find out that I bought twelve roosters. But for now, we have high hopes of having at least six laying hens, and maybe more. And this is the year we buy goats for the back field. What is it about homeschoolers and animals anyway?

It was nice when I came home. Sara had stayed home today with Rebekah, and they had really cleaned up the house - even the rooms that had been "neglected" in our run up to Easter. It was really nice. Eric came home early today to work in the yard. He has it looking nice. He mowed all the yard, and mowed a walking path in the back field for me. I don't like to walk on the roads because we live on a back road and cars like to speed. I can't complain. Often I am tempted to drive over the speed limit myself back here. We have a long drive way, but I feel stupid walking up and down it enough times to amount to a exercise. So now I can walk out back where witnesses will be few. I don't know if I'll still want to walk there after we get the goats.

Ben had baseball practice today. Last year I took both kids to almost all their practices. This is the first practice I attended this year. Eric has been real good about getting home in time to take them. We love spring ball, but it does pretty much take precedence for just about three months. The season opens this week-end, and we will have no life other than ball and church for the next two months. I guess that's why I am tiring of the co-op. Just one more thing to do.

My life is a good one. Today was just another day, neither especially good, or especially bad. But it's my life, and even on the ordinary days, the "just another days" , I still wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.

Green Mountain

Yesterday I went with my family to Green Mountain. How is it that we have lived in this area for so long, and never knew about this jewel? Such a pretty park!!!! There is only one problem - it's on top of a mountain, and I don't do mountains very well. It's really very sad, because as a 13 year old, I had decided that I would marry John Denver and move to Colorado with him. I hadn't figured out just what to do about Annie, or how we would meet, or what would persuade him to fall in love with a young teen-ager. It just wasn't a very well thought out goal, but it was mine and I dreamed about it for hours as I listened to Sunshine on my Shoulders and Rocky Mountain High. Mountains were not a common thing in Memphis, and although we would go to the Ozarks on vacations as a child, it wasn't until I became an adult that I realized just how frightening the prospect of running off the road and down the side of a mountain could be. So I guess it's just as well that I never met John Denver, much less married him. The more immediate concern is, How will I ever be able to get back to this lovely park without falling to pieces?

On the way to the park, we were behind a car that had those advertising magnets on the back. They were advertising rabbits for sell, and since I promised Rachel years ago that I would buy her more bunnies after we moved, I thought it would be good to get the phone number off the back of the car. I used to be able to read things like this from a distance, but those days are long gone. Rebekah was driving the car, and doing a fine job of it as we relentlessly pursued this car, trying to get close enough to write down the number, without getting close enough not to meet under less than ideal circumstances. I think one of the younger kids was able to finally write the number down, and we have not called it yet. But I can't imagine what this person thought as they had probably forgotten about the magnets on the back of the car, and were afraid of the crazy people trying to run them off the road.

Today promises to be a good day. I will be off to the stores shortly to buy black plastic to put down on the garden area. Eric did a second tilling of the area yesterday, and added an extra strip of area for green peas. So I will put the plastic down while I can, and begin laying out the blocks and rows as I have planned.

Today is also a much anticipated day - I have my husband's blessing to buy baby chicks. I want to buy the Rhode Island Reds if possible. I had them in Maryland, and loved them. My first experience with chickens was broiler hens. These are large and sedate birds, whose only mission in life is to eat and poop (and to be butchered around 8 weeks old - but we didn't tell them that was their final destination.). When we later bought our layers, they were reds, and my, how those birds would jump around and move! I have read that the white feathered birds are more high stung than reds, so I think reds it will be. We don't have a coop for them yet, but last weekend I bought a book with ideas for how to build one. I have a little corner of the yard picked out for a chicken coop and run, while Eric wants to build a portable chicken house. I'll let you know how this all works out.

Non-fiction Books With Boring Titles

When I put down on my profile that I read alot of non-fiction books with boring titles, I meant it. And I'm not sure that any of the books I read really profit me (not that they do not have valuable information, but that I am so inept at applying what I have learned). I read alot of books on communication skills, and business skills (primarily social skills). There are books on how to be a good teacher, how to be a good speaker, how to write well, how to publish, how to lead, how to manage,how to build chicken coops, how to grow gardens, how to make soap, how to bake bread, how to homeschool for brilliant children, how to be a good wife, how to be a good mom. I should be the most accomplished person in the world if book learning was all there is to it. But, alas, there is more.

I have heard my pastor say on many occasions that wisdom is knowing the right thing to do at the right time and in the right way. There is a close relationship between knowledge and wisdom, the primary difference being the ability to apply what you know in the right way. Knowledge alone satisfies the mind, and makes you feel smart, but what does it really profit if you cannot apply it. Knowledge puffs up.

One major thing that I have noticed is that all the social skills books say about the same things, and it is something that can be learned by a careful reading of the Bible. In fact, the secret to positive thinking, to winning friends and influencing people etc., all falls into a very definite "formula". Do you want to know what it is? It is to 1.) Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and 2.) to love your neighbor as you love yourself. It's also stated as
"do unto others as you would have them to do unto you."

Of course, even the New Testament elaborates on how to do these things. I never knew before we came to Alabama how many times the Bible says to encourage others, to receive others, to greet others, to accept others, to love others, to do for others. These are the "one another" passages, and my pastor often preaches on them (he is not liberal in his views by any means, and does take a conservative stand - he is, however, one of the greatest examples of being a friend to others that I have ever seen - he has influence because he has love).

This morning, after my bible reading, I finished up my latest book on social skills, and here is a sampling of suggestions I gleaned from that book:
-be supportive
- be able to teach
-be able to delegate well
-be able to communicate well
-give rewards and praise
-take care of others
-go to bat for others
-criticize privately

More ideas are to be constantly developing new skills, be willing to use these skills to help the organization rather than for personal advancement, have a good sense of humor, don't take yourself too seriously, but do all you can to improve yourself. But all these tips can be tied to biblical principles, and if I were not so lazy (or desiring to move on to other things today), I could tie the principles in the book to a bible principles and do no harm to either.

The reason for today's rant is that yesterday I blew it. With all my "superior wisdom from a diligent study of the scriptures" and a "righteous indignation over being misunderstood", I simply blew it. I was nothing more than a self-righteous know-it-all. And all the reading of "how to be a wonderful person" books can not make a self-righteous know-it-all someone who is respected and listened to. No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. I failed to show that I really do care. I failed.

Downhearted

I think one of the better rules to have for oneself is not to blog when you are feeling downhearted. It seems that it would be easy to say things you do not mean - sitting at the computer it's easy to forget that what you write is available for all to read. You cannot explain later "that's not what I really feel; or I felt that way then, but after I thought about it I realized that I was over-dramatizing it." A wise person knows when to remain silent.

But today I am downhearted. I know why, but I will at least be wise enough not to enumerate reasons 1 - 10 for feeling as if "all these things are against me." It is enough to say that sometimes things do not turn out the way you want them to, and some things you can do nothing about. And it makes you want to cry.

Over the past year, I have searched out the scriptures. I just needed to know "why" to so many things. Last fall, a favorite study was in the book of Job. I learned several things about God in that book, such as that there are scenes played out in heaven that I know nothing about, that God is over all and answers to no one, and that even though Job was just in God's sight, He still allowed almost unbelievable tragedy to come into Job's life (by the way, Job was rewarded in the end, but he never received an explanation from God).

I came out of that study with a favorite passage - one that I will quote:

"Look, God shows Himself exalted by His power.
Who is a teacher like Him?
Who has appointed His way for Him, and who has declared, "You have done wrong"?
Remember that you should praise His work, which people have sung about.
All mankind has seen it;
people have looked at it from a distance.
Look, God is exalted beyond our knowledge; the number of His years cannot be counted."
Job 36:22-26 HCSV

The idea of God as a teacher was new to me - I suppose I had heard it taught many times, but when I read it last fall it opened up a new line of thought for me. God is teaching us. A good teacher knows what needs to be taught and will craft the lesson to both involve and lead the student to the desired outcome. God's ultimate goal is to conform us to the image of Christ. Over the course of our life (a course that is individualized rather than universal), He presents us with lessons on how to live in accordance to His will (that Christ be formed in us), gives us examples of both successes and failures in the lives of others, and then tests our understanding by putting us through various trials. The trials test our understanding - they show what is in our heart, and if we are wise, they drive us to the feet of the Master Teacher. My desire is to do well in these tests, and to truly learn the lessons as they are presented to me the first time. But even if I fail a test, there is comfort in knowing that no matter what, there is a rhyme and reason behind the bewildering circumstances of life.

There's so much more I want to write about this topic, but I really don't want to be so serious minded in all my posts. If I knew how, I'd post photos of my garden spot with glowing reports of what I've already done in preparation for the new season; the new ideas I want to try; what my plans are for fruit production and the laments I have about the pitiful state of my orchard. But I'm home all alone at the moment without anyone to show me how to do it. So maybe by next time, I'll have some fun stuff posted. Until then, just know that I know that the down feeling I have is just that - a feeling, and it is already passing.

As a side note, I did quote the passage from a version other than the KJV. My final standard and authority is the KJV. Do not make assumptions about why I used this version today, or why I have it in the first place. Someday I might explain, but not today.

Change

"All growth requires change." I am not good with change. There is a comfort in things remaining the same, and I am all about the comfortable things in life. But change is necessary if there is to be growth, and I have learned that it is good to stretch one's horizons. What does this have to do with anything - I'm not sure. This blog is a change for me. I have had more than one person ask me to write a blog for well over a year, and I have resisted. There have been a variety of reasons (I didn't know how to set up a site; no one would be interested; what would I write about; I don't want to embarrass my family, but they are the only ones I know well enough to write about, etc.) But here I am with a forum all my own. I hope I do well, and that my heart will be seen by those whose good opinion matters most to me.

I am a Navy wife. My husband retired over ten years ago, so perhaps I am now a retired Navy wife - whatever that means. We married when he was half way through his career, so I only had the military lifestyle for about ten years. Most military families move alot, but not us. We met in Memphis while he was stationed at Millington Naval Base for training. We moved to Virginia Beach when he had to return to sea duty, and spent almost 9 years in that area. On his final tour of duty, he had to move to Patuxent River, MD. We considered his commuting to work (spending the week in MD, and coming home on weekends) but decided that it would be better to keep the family together. We had three children, and I was expecting our fourth at time time. So we rented our home (which we planned to come back to after he retired), applied for base housing and packed up our family and moved.

We fell in love with Maryland. The country was rolling hills, with lots of trees and was surrounded by water. The base we were stationed at was located in St. Mary's county, a rural area around 60 miles south of DC. (My love for this county will be a repeating theme in my posts, I'm sure). It had a strong influence from several things - the watermen and life on the bay, the military base with it's ever-changing population, and a thriving Mennonite/Amish community. There were farmer's markets, and antique shops. It was in this area that I became a country girl. I had grown up in Memphis, and then lived in Virginia Beach. In Maryland, we were able to by land - six and a half acres. We were in the country, but not the deep country. We were centrally located in the county, and I think had the best location, being close to libraries, parks, the hospital ( a mere five minutes from our home). It was here that we first had goats, and chickens and rabbits. I have to laugh, because we really didn't know what we were doing, but it was fun. The home we bought had belonged to a Mennonite family, and they had grown much of their own food. Why does this matter? I reaped the benefits in having a well prepared garden spot. Needless to say, we sold our home in VA, and settled down in Maryland. But I never felt like we would stay there forever. I don't know why, but in the back of my mind, I always knew there would come a time when we had to leave.

That time came almost five years ago. My husband worked for a company that was about to go under. He was having a hard time finding another job in the area. Our kids were growing up and at an age where they would start leaving home and settling down (once they did this, we would not want to leave them, no matter what). The county was changing, and the life we loved would not be as easily within reach for our children. Our parents were getting older, and we had not had much time with them while living on the east coast. For several months, I had been praying about life, wondering what to do next. Our pastor had preached a sermon that had really intrigued me some time before. It was about Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. One of things in the passage was that Solomon told Sheba all of her questions, the idea being that she didn't even know all that she wanted to ask, and he was able to answer even her unspoken questions. Of course, this applied to our relationship to the Lord, as He is able to answer the questions we can't put into words. I would get up early each morning and walk around my back yard and pray. It's funny, because after walking, I would sit in an old swing and continue praying, looking over the trees to the spot in the sky where I met with God. It sounds funny, but that was where I met with God. Almost daily, I would pray and ask God to tell me my questions - I didn't even know what to pray, what to ask for. I just knew that change was in the air. When my husband approached me about moving, I knew that this was what God had been preparing me for, and was willing to move, even though I really don't like to change. Our adventures upon arrival in Al will have to wait for another posting. Let's just say, it was an interesting time in our lives.

So why write about this? In the past couple of weeks, I started pulling together my tea pots and cups, putting them within easy reach. While I lived in Virginia, I had a close friend introduce me to the idea of having tea parties. Each week, we would meet at her home while the kids were away at a homeschool co-op. For just under an hour, we would drink hot tea, eat muffins or cookies, and discuss a wide range of issues. It was one of my favorite memories. Some time later, when this friend moved back to her home state, my heart absolutely broke. I must have cried for weeks after they left. She was simply one of the best friends I have ever had. But she left a legacy in my life - the tea party. In Maryland, I again had friends I would meet with once a month at my home. We would drink tea, eat cookies, cross stitch, and solve the world's problems over the course of several delicious hours. The girls would go to their bedrooms and talk, while the boys explored the woods. Again, some of my best memories and some of my best friends.

It's not the tea party that is important; it's the ability to be open with people, to be transparent. I don't like change - and to be transparent scares me. But I am finally ready to open up the door to my heart. There can be no joy without the risk of sadness, and there can be no sweet memories to brighten our hearts without the willingness to open ourselves up to possible heartbreak. So my tea pots sit at the ready, waiting to continue a familiar service, even though the places and faces may have changed through the years, the desire for friendship remains the same.

March 24, 2010

Hello!
As I begin this new journey into the world of blogging, I have to wonder about a few things. What do I write about? Who would want to read it? Why does it matter? And isn't it a little egotistical of me to think that anyone should care? But asking questions and pondering life is what I do best. I have a dry sense of humor that gets me in trouble all too often (people will think I'm serious when I'm being tongue in cheek). I am too much of a philosopher and too much of a "lecturer" - just ask my kids. I am not an efficient planner - or perhaps I fail to initiate my plans effectively - either way it is a serious shortcoming. I am certainly no one to pattern a life after, but I do have some interesting adventures and misfortunes in pursuit of my interests.

I have five children ranging in age from 11 to 25. I have 1 grand-baby, and am expecting my second grand-baby in October (incidentally my favorite month of the year). I am amazed at how fast time flies - it seems like just yesterday my friends and I were announcing our own pregnancies and planning nurseries, names, etc. Now it's grandchildren being announced, and I sit back and watch as nurseries and names are planned and discussed.

I am married to Eric, a wonderful and patient man who gives me enough rope to hang myself on most projects. He says he'd tell me what to do if he thought it would matter. He believes I'll do what I want to do, and I believe he is right. But I think I know his heart and try to keep my projects and plans in line with what he wants for his home and family.

The primary driving force of my life is my faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I became a Christian almost 30 years ago. It was a time when I was deciding what path I would take in life, when God opened my eyes to the truth of the gospel, and gave me the faith to accept Jesus' payment for my sins. I have never regretted my decision to accept Christ as my Savior, and have grown to love and trust Him more as the years have passed.

The best habit I have developed through the years is a daily reading in the book of Proverbs. I have read a chapter a day (corresponding with the day's date) for over five years now, missing only a handful of days. At first it was very painful as I recognized so many foolish mistakes I had made through out the years, then it became preventive and instructive. Another good habit is to read through the Psalms in much the same way (5 Psalms a day; for example, today I would read Psalm 24, 54, 84, 114, 144). That takes you through Psalms in a month, and in it you see God's heart, and will recognize many of your own emotions in response to life's trials. You realize that you are not alone or unique in your emotions; that fears, uncertainties, hopes, desires, faith and joys are common responses to life. And that God is there through it all.

So there you have it, my first post on my new blog. I am technically challenged, so I will have to have my children help me figure out how to post pictures, etc., but at least we have a beginning.