It's been four years since the April 27th tornado outbreak. To be truthful, I had forgotten until later in the day when I saw some fb posts about it. Four years. So much has changed in four years.
Four years ago, Ben was taking classes from Amy. They were supposed to meet for classes that day, but we cancelled when the first round of storms came through. Today, it was Sara who was in class with Amy, and today's weather couldn't have been nicer.
In the last four years:
Jeremiah was born.
Rebekah was married.
Rachel left home.
Ben and Sara entered high school.
I had cancer twice.
Daddy died.
And that is only a partial list.
It's hard to believe. Four years ago, cancer wasn't even on my radar screen. I probably had it growing inside me, but I didn't know it.
Four years ago, I "casually" called mom to talk on this day, because I wasn't sure how the day would end. I remember talking to her when I heard that a tornado was on the ground and headed my direction. For the first time in a long time, a storm had me scared. I didn't know what to do...but I had talked to my mama - just in case.
Four years ago, after the storms had done their worst and we were trying to get in touch with everyone, we couldn't call each other in town. We could call Memphis, and mom and dad could call the others and relay info. Mom and Dad to the rescue, as always.
Four years ago, I could talk to my daddy. I'll not do that again.
Four years ago, I could not see how things would play out. I was caught completely off-guard.
I'm not going to lie. The last few years have been the hardest of my life. I had a cluster of completely heart breaking things happen, each was enough to break my heart by itself, but the events kept piling on one after another. I'm not the only one to experience such a period of time. I think it must come to everyone. But I thought I'd get by without having to go through it. For a while, I cried and cried. Then I learned not to cry.
I'm focusing on the sad as I write. Much good has come in the same time period. and I'm in a happy place now. It has been good for me to walk through these fires that have purged my soul and shown me my own shortcomings. The important thing, I think, is you just don't know how a day is going to end. And that's one lesson I learned four years ago, today.
