A Little of This and That

It's been over a year since I last posted, and what a year it has been. Last October, I found a lump in my left breast. I scarely gave it any thought at first, thinking that it was just a cyst that would drain on it's own. Cancer did not enter my mind, not even for a moment. A couple of weeks later, almost as an afterthought, I checked again, and the lump was still there. This time I had a slight sense of foreboding, enough to mention it to my husband. He is the one who made my doctor's appointment and made me promise to keep it. Long story short, it was cancer, and a bad variety of it. Triple negative. This began a round of doctor's visits, surgery, chemo, etc. Someday I will write more about those days, but not now. I might even post a photo or two of my bald head, but I'll have to relearn how to post photos to do that. This is just an attempt to restart my blog and in doing that, restart my dreams.

All has not been bad since my last posting. Last July, Jesse and Kathy had a precious baby boy. Jeremiah Daniel Shaffer by name, and he came into the world with a head full of beautiful black hair just like his daddy did before him. He is the good that came into our family just as I finished my last round of chemo. We love him so much! Savanna is a good big sister and loves him dearly. Speaking of Savanna, she has grown into such a sweet little girl (no longer a baby). One of my favorite things in the world is to hear the back door open and a sweet little voice call out "nanny, nanny".

Rebekah has good news of her own. She met a nice young man a while back, and over the course of time they fell in love and are now engaged. His name is Joe Patterson, and he fits into the family very nicely indeed. They are planning a spring wedding.

Khy is growing like a weed. He is talking so plain now, and is at a really fun age. I love to hear him call me granma. He's into dragons right now, and there is always a dragon about the house, just waiting to be chased or hidden from.

Speaking of growing, Ben has been taller than me by a foot for a long time. He's growing into a fine young man, and I'm proud of him. He has been my protector over the past year, often lingering behind the others and walking with me, offering his help and just making sure that I am ok. He still doesn't like my chickens, though.

Sara has blossemed into a beautiful young lady. She is taking a cooking class with a dear friend, and has turned into a better cook than her mama.

Rachel is still as creative as ever. She works for Sephora and does some photography on the side. She has such a God-given eye for seeing the beauty in every day things.

Eric has been my rock and strength during the past year or so. They say it's hard on the patient, but I think it's harder on the caregiver. He had to take care of me, take care of the responsiblities I couldn't keep up with, work, and so many other things. He is the unsung hero of the year.

It's been an interesting year. The path was hard, but through it all, God has been good to us. We saw His faithfulness to us in so many ways. I'm grateful for all the things He has brought into my life over the past year or so, and for the lessons I've learned. But I'm not volunteering for anymore hard times =)


It's such a beautiful day today. The dogwood tree outside of my back window has beautiful red leaves, and sky is a bright blue. It's the kind of sights that make you glad to be alive.

A New Beginning

Wow! It's been months since I last posted. Earl's death was so unexpected, and it took it's toll emotionally. Before I knew it, we were hard into the holidays. It became easy to put off writing - and months later here we are. I've written some wonderful posts in my mind, but never got around to actually writing it down. Starting today, I want to begin anew. At the moment I'm watching the news coverage of the Japanese earthquake and tsuamia. Life changes in a moment - it's important to always be ready to meet our God.

It's been a long and hot summer, and I think it's taken it's toll on me. Last May I developed walking pnuemonia. A course of antibotics cured that, but I remained weak. In fact, I felt so bad that I finally gave in and went to the doctor for a complete check-up. So far, it has been confirmed that I am anemic. I had started iron suppliments in May, but being of a stubborn, independent nature, I quit taking them as soon as I felt a little better. Not a good idea. My blood count was down pretty low, and it will take a while to bring it back up to normal levels. I have to watch my sugar as well. I'm ok, but if I don't change my erratic eating habits I could have problems. Things started getting out of hand when we moved, and over the course of time our activities and outside obligations seemed to snowball. It was so easy to skip meals, to eat whatever could be fixed quickly and easily, eat at crazy hours, or to run through the drive-thru windows. I'm glad to have had a wake-up call....time to apply what I know about good nutrition. Of course, they are still running tests, so who knows what else they will find, but for now I am encouraged.

I am always amazed at how quickly the new school years come upon us. The public school will start next week. I will wait until after Labor Day to start. I'll only have two students this year, so I am on the downhill slide. I did some planning for the school year early in the summer, but I need to finalize lesson plans. I feel very hopeful that this will be one of the best years we've had since moving. My strenght is coming back, as well as my enthusiasm.

You would think, as a Navy wife, that moving would be second nature to me. But it isn't. My husband had almost half of his career behind him when we married, and we only moved twice in the years he had remaining. It always took a while for me to feel at home in any new place, and Alabama is no exception. We have lived here five years and I am finally accepting certain facts about my new home. One is that there are no JoAnn's fabric stores. We have a Hancock's, but it just isn't the same. I quit sewing. Not out of spite - just lost my heart for it. But lately I have felt the stirring of old desires coming back to life, and over the past month I have visited Hancock's several times. I picked out a few patterns, and want to start working on them soon. One is a prairie dress. I've been reading the Little House series to the kids this summer, and that inspired me. Every fall, our church has an old-fashioned day. I'd like to have a dress for myself and my youngest daughter this year. It's been so long since I've done any serious sewing. I admit that I am a little concerned about my skill level, but it should come back rather quickly.

I'm listening to Rachel play piano. For at least a decade piano lessons were a regular part of our lives. We had a wonderful teacher for the older kids, and the lesson days were always more than lessons. It was a gathering time for friends as well. As time went by, Rebekah started teaching beginning piano to the younger kids in our church. All day we'd have families in our home, and the hours were passed happily as the kids had their lessons, and the adults solved the problems of the world. Happy, happy times. And today I noticed photos that another friend posted on facebook of our kids when they were very, very young. It was a magical time - one that lives in my memories - when the kids were young. We thought we had such problems in those day......if only we'd known what wonderful golden days they truly were!

Well, that's enough rambling for today. Time to get up and work on new happy memories.

It's funny the things a person can miss. Five years ago, my family made a major, non-military related move from beautiful Southern Maryland to Northern Alabama. Alabama is pretty, but I have to say that Maryland had a charm that is hard to duplicate. One of the major things I miss in the strong Mennonite influence. The Mennonites I was familiar with in Maryland were Old Order Mennonites, which means that many of them dress and live like the Amish. I never was real clear on what made them Old Order rather than Amish, and I don't really care. Because of their presence, there was a greater emphasis on gardening and food preservation. I had a large garden, and put up alot of food, and what I didn't grow, I could buy at many of the vegetable stands run by the Mennonite community. I have not found anything like that in this area. I try to duplicate the life I had there, but it's just not the same. For example, there are no True Value hardware stores in the Huntsville. I lived within five minutes of one in Maryland, and would go there to buy canning and kitchen supplies that are not available at WalMart. Imagine how happy I was yesterday when I found a True Value (of sorts) in Fayetteville, TN. I made the trip up to the store. It was on the main square and was more like an old time hardware store and a True Value combined. But I was happy because I was able to find this food mill. I'll use it while putting up peach and apple butters this summer. While I was in the store, I found this dehydrator. I had one before, and used it to dehydrate many fruits. One of the kids favorite things was dried strawberries. It's been years since I had used one, and I've toyed with the idea of buying another one for a couple of years. As you can see, I gave in and bought this one (I'm not sure it wasn't a case of temporary insanity). The dehyrator I had used before had a large base with trays that stacked on top. This one is smaller, enclosed and has the heating unit and fan on top. It has a temperature control on top; a feature that I like. Last night I put some blueberries on to dry, and it did a nice job.

Last May I was very run down and sick with walking pneumonia. During a rare doctor's visit, I was dignosed with anemia, and have been taking iron suppliments. While I think the suppliments are helping, I am still easily fatigued. One afternoon, Eric came home with this bottle of liquid B vitamins. He had tried it at work, and it was so helpful that he wanted me to try it. I have used it for three days now, and I believe it is helping. The main thing I notice is a greater mental clarity. I have more energy as well.

Peaches are in season now, and these are from a local orchard. They are really sweet, and I love being able to buy them. I cut up a little over half of these and they are in the crock pot as I type, cooking down into a peach butter. I wish there was a way for you to smell them cooking. It makes my mouth water. Hopefully I will be able to do this a few more times while they are in season.

These are some of the blueberries I've picked from my bushes. The heat and dry conditions have kept the berries small this year, but they are sweet. I used some of this batch to dry and the rest I used to make blueberry pie filling. I want to use the dried berries in granola.

This is a picture of the chicken coop that Eric built last spring. The picture doesn't do it justice. I wish I had taken pictures of it while he was building it. It is portable, and has a mesh flooring to make clean up easy. I took this picture as a thunderstorm was blowing in. Maybe I'll get some better shots in the next few days.

Last year I planted sunflowers. These flowers are volunteers that came up along the edge of the garden. I bought seeds to plant this year, but didn't get them in (being so sick during the prime planting season). I'm glad these came up.

Life is busy these days. I've thought about what to post for a couple of days now, and this has just touched to surface of what I want to say. It's been so long since I wrote anything. I'll try to post again real soon. Until then, I wish blessings on all who read this.

When I started writing this blog, I had so many ideas of what I wanted it to be. Primarily, I wanted to record what I did on the "farm". I had so many dreams for what this summer would hold, and how I would finally get everything perfect. The first problem I encountered was breaking my camera. Then I got really sick, much sicker than I have been in a long time. Chores built up during the time I was sick, and I have been playing catch up every since (the truth is, I was playing catch up before I got sick). When I finally felt better, and was able to see some daylight at the end of the tunnel, the weather turned HOT! I am a southern girl by birth, and the heat seldom bothered me as a teen-ager and young adult. But I can't handle it now. So all the wonderfully impressive things I had planned to do, photograph and document on this site remain strangely a dream. Add to all this a descent into laziness, and it just isn't a pretty picture.

But hope springs eternal. My days are much less cluttered by outside activities, and I am making progress on my household chores. I still dream of canning lots of food this year, although some of it may be purchased at a local farmer's market rather than grown in my back yard. I still dream of painting my little room off the barn and having a mini-greenhouse in it. But I am starting to recognize that these are only dreams. Now don't misunderstand; dreams are important, and I believe that nothing of value is accomplished without a dream. But dreams can change. And if I keep my focus on my Lord, and love and enjoy my family and friends as I walk toward my dreams (goals), then my life will be a good one. And if I never arrive at what I had imagined, it will be alright.

Blessed is a man who endures trials, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that He (the Lord) has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

I am not a bible scholar. I say this as a disclaimer for all those who are more learned than I am. I have had so many questions to ask of the Lord in the past year, and in my questioning and studies, I have read alot about tests, trials, afflictions, etc. In my studies, I have come to believe certain things very strongly. One is that God is a teacher. He calls Himself that on numerous occasions. I believe that He has a plan and purpose for each and every person born. I believe that our lives are planned to an extent, yet we are free to make our own choices. This is a contradiction that scholars have debated for centuries, and I certainly will not be the one to give the definitive answer. Paul said in Timothy that he had finished his course. Another part of scripture talks about our running our race without hindrances.

So, if God is our teacher and we have a course set for us (it helps me to think of this in academic terms), then it stands to reason that the tests, trials, afflictions we suffer in life are meant to show how we are doing in our "studies". If we endure these trials, and if we pass the test, we receive a crown of life. I have spent most of my Christian life supposing that this means that if we do not steal when tempted to, or murder someone, or commit adultery, that we have passed the test of temptations and will receive this crown. But I wonder more and more these days if it's not something more like how we respond to the daily affairs of life. For instance, two days ago, Sara was hurt in an accident. This accident was preventable had I been obeyed. It cost hours of time at the doctors, and much pain on her part. She had to have several stitches, and one finger has a small fracture in it. She has to wear a splint for several days (we don't know how long just yet), and there is no way she can play in her softball tournament. Is the crown of life something you win for responding correctly to things like this? If you are able to help, comfort and do what needs to be done without resentment or reproach, does that qualify you for the crown of life? Or is it being able to cheerfully work on endless piles of laundry when your mind is active and desiring to do "important and impressive things" ? Is the crown of life something that can be won by simply realizing that Jesus Himself was a servant, putting aside His own need for private time after the death of John the Baptist (his cousin) to minister to crowds of people and following His example in our daily lives?

Just Touching Base

It's been a while since I lasted posted. I was sick for most of May with walking pneumonia. It's been along time since I had been so sick. It wasn't coughing so much as aches, pains, and headaches. At times I felt so bad that I simply cried, and I do not cry easily. I was just so tired, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even think and plan and scheme, or even read because my thinking was so cloudy I decided not to post while in this state of mind. Maybe I should have - it might have been very entertaining (but there is only so much I want to have to live down).

There have been several significant things happen since I last wrote. I found out that my son and his wife will be having a little girl - our first granddaughter. My middle daughter graduated high school on May 21. And my two other daughters have had birthdays. Jesse's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Each of these deserves it's own posting, and maybe I'll get to it in the following days. But if I don't, I at least wanted to have mentioned them.

After I went to the doctor (first time in many, many years) and got antibiotics, my fatigue gradually left, and my thinking cleared up. I have found myself in a reflective mood. Of course, there is the typical musings on the passing of time and what it means. Mostly I've thought about people I've known. The relationships forged through the years, and how some people have touched my life for good, some for evil, and some just in passing. I wonder what difference meeting or not meeting a particular person has made, and what difference I might have made in the lives of others. I've learned through hard experience that things are not always what they seem. and the silence of so-called friends can be deafening when things are judged by surface appearances. But I am not the first to ponder such things, and the philosophers of the ages have tried to make sense of it all. So, the task is not to be too philosophical while still enjoying the insights a little reflective thinking can give, and to get on with the good things of life. And, I think equally important, is to give thanks for men and women who dedicate their lives to the study of medicine and the development of cures.